• Whitney

Season of Singleness

I'll be honest, I don't like the term "season of singleness." I believe there are so many other aspects of both our lives and Christian walk than whether or not we have a ring on our finger. You can serve the Lord whether you've been single for 20 years or have been married for 50. There are many things you can accomplish in this season.

If you're anything like me, you're probably a bit of a hopeless romantic type. Your social media feed is probably filled with #ChristianCoupleGoals featuring pictures of seemingly perfect couples having Bible studies and worshipping together. I've always loved Sundays, and I cannot wait to spend them with my future spouse. But what now? Should we spend our free time daydreaming about the perfect relationship or focusing on becoming a Christ-like individual first?

God will not be the center of your relationship if he is not the center of your life.

You've probably heard time and time again that God should be the center of your relationship, but is he the center of your life? This may take some self-reflection, but take time to consider whether or not God is truly the center of your life. If you do not keep Christ in the middle of your decision making, you won't keep him in the middle of your relationship. Focus on centering your life around Christ before focusing on your love life. After all, "we love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:16

Your relationship with Christ is your most important relationship.

Do not become so consumed with finding someone to be in a relationship with that you neglect your relationship with Christ. Also, retain from placing any relationships (friendship, family, etc.) over your walk with Christ.

View others as brothers and sisters in Christ first.

Church is a great place to find an equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14) spouse, but not everyone is your future spouse. We all know that one person who goes to every church event or camp in search of a spouse, and spends the week distracted. Strive to view other Christians as brothers and sisters before potential spouses. It will save you from both distraction and heartbreak.

Find your place in the church.

Your role in church may change as you grow older, but something you can focus on is finding your role and how you enjoy serving. Volunteer with the children's ministry, cook for a potluck, chaperone a youth trip, or go on a mission trip. Life changes in different seasons, and you can find where you fit as an individual before finding where you fit as a couple/family. This goes directly into my next point...

Serve Him while you wait.

It's exciting to think about serving with your spouse, but you do not have to be married to qualify to fulfill your mission as a Christian. You may not have a child, but you can still volunteer in the nursery or teach Sunday School. You may not have a "mission trip partner," but you can still make an impact on your own. Your service may change with your relationship status, but you should serve regardless.

Get to know yourself.

Spend time getting to know yourself during this season. What gifts has God given you? What fruits of the Spirit are abundant within you? What are your career goals? How many children do you want? What are your relationship non-negotiable? What aspects of yourself do you need to work on? How do you want to serve God and others both now and later? These are all questions that will help you get to know yourself better, and help you determine what you want in a relationship. I recommend writing down your answers, or keeping them in the "Notes" app on your phone. This will allow you to reflect on them and even change them as you change and grow.

Pray for your future spouse.

Everyone says to do this, but it is so important. I've seen people making prayer journals to give to their future spouse on their wedding day, so that may be something you'd enjoy if you like writing/sentimental gifts. Pray for them because you do not know what struggles they are facing. Pray for them because their present will impact your future together. Pray for them to remain strong and faithful. No prayer is too large or too small for God, remember this as you pray.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 ESV

Be joyful.

This is a simple sentence, but not as easy to do. It's easy to get caught up in singleness or rejection, but be joyful in every season of life. Some seasons are harder than others, but true joy is found in your relationship with Christ. Find joy every day whether it's hanging out with friends, listening to your favorite song, or even working. After all, joy comes from God:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV

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