I’m walking away. Wait, make that running: sprinting in the opposite direction. Away from you and towards the one who actually loves me. I’m leaving you in the dust to chase Jesus. To run back into the arms of my savior. To never end up back in the arms of a manipulative human being.
You see, my savior will not lie to me. He will not manipulate me. He will not wake up one day and decide to walk away without reason. He will not come back and beg for forgiveness to wait a mere 24 hours before deciding that I am the one who is not worthy of his presence. You see, I am not worthy of his presence, but he chooses me. You are not worthy of my presence, and I am choosing to walk away. I am choosing to save myself from the heartache of letting you back in and watching you leave again. I’m saving myself from the harsh words, the temper tantrums, and the constant feeling of not being enough. I am running away from the pointless drama and the controlling behavior.
I am going to my safe place that my generation seems to need. My safe place isn’t a plush room with coloring books and puppies. It looks much different than that. My safe place is in the arms of the one who hung on the cross to forgive me of my sins. My safe place is in the arms of Christ. You see, you led me far away from those arms. You led me to believe that I would spend the rest of my life in yours. You pretended like everything was perfect. You led me to believe that you were the Christian man that I had always dreamed of. Sadly, you lead me to believe wrong.
For your sake and your future spouse’s alike, I hope that you run to Jesus’s arms as well. I hope you become the man that you lead me to believe that you were. I hope you become the Christian that I would love to watch you become. I hope you realize that Christianity is a lot more complex than attending church every time that the doors are open. I hope you fall in love with my savior.