• Whitney

Lost and Rediscovered

You lost me, and I rediscovered myself.

In the beginning, I thought that I had lost you. I asked myself what I had done wrong and if there was anything that I could have done to fix it. After finding no answers to these questions, I realized that I did not lose you, but you did lose me. And that’s okay.

You see: when you lost me, I rediscovered myself. I became who I am instead of the girl that you wanted me to be. Under a pile of dust, I found the things that I loved long before I even knew your name. I would be cliche and say that I found myself, but I was never truly lost. I was simply set to the side to be discovered again while packing up your things.

I rediscovered my first loves. I realized how much I loved baton twirling and wished that I had spent more time in the gym with my batons than on meaningless dates with you. I rediscovered my love for red lipstick and the confidence that it brought me. I never should have listened  to you when you told me to stop wearing it, for your opinion of my appearance was not of importance. I remembered how much I enjoyed listening to Christian music for hours without getting bored. I rediscovered my own love for my savior. I had gotten too caught up in your rules to truly enjoy my relationship. I rediscovered the joy that spending times with my friends brought to me after spending all of my free time with you. Lastly, I rediscovered my confidence.

Thank you for losing me. Thank you for breaking me so that I could put myself back together in the shape that I wanted after you had reshaped me. Thank you for allowing me to rediscover myself.


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